Learning to side step the ‘all or nothing’ mindset

You are a mindful Eater! What to do when you slip back in to Mindless eating?

During your journey as a mindful eater, you are bound to ‘fall of the wagon’ as it were. When this happens, you may find yourself filled with the habitual discouraging thoughts; 'what's the point? there is no point in trying', 'I am bound to fail, because I have failed at all my attempts at loosing weight' and ‘if I don’t try, at least I won’t fail’ and so on.

We need to expect these voices and when they do inevitably arise we are not surprised and understand how they work.

Discouragement is usually a product of the 'all or nothing' mindset, which specialises in self-sabotage. When we succumb to the 'all or nothing' mindset, we set the bar so high, whilst unconsciously being invested in our own failure. Despite the pain and misery we experience, our ego is perversely satisfied in keeping us stuck. If this is an issue for you, there are few mindset shifts, that will help you:

1) Simply calling it out for what it is. Know that these are habitual and familiar thoughts arising from  the 'all or nothing' mindset and you don't need to buy in to them. If the feelings of discouragement are intense, you can use simple breathing techniques to release these thoughts which will restore balance and peace to your mind.

2) The perfectionist, the 'all or nothing' mindset will always be focused on how you are always falling short, how you are never 'good enough'. A simple yet powerful way of counteracting this debilitating mental habit, is to pay very close attention to small, incremental improvements you are actually making. For instance, even noticing and bringing awareness that you are having discouraging thoughts is progress. Without awareness, there is no change. Really celebrate and rejoice in your small accomplishments, however small they may seem. Remember, the quote 'A journey of a thousand mile starts with a single step'. Without the single steps, this journey will be not accomplished. Learn to celebrate the single steps on your journey to food freedom.

3)  Fall in love with the process of transformation, rather than grasp at a particular outcome. Shift your focus away from weight loss or even perfectly applying the hunger -fullness scale (be aware of turning the 'hunger-fullness' scale into another 'diet'). Instead focus on being a trainee mindful eater, who practises self-acceptance, self -kindness, who is bringing non-judgemental awareness in to your life as you train in the mindful eating precepts.

4) Accept that you are going to have moments/meals where you are tuned in and other times not. Remember, this is not unique or personal to you. This does not make you a failure, simply human. Next meal, next moment is a new moment and you do the best you can to guide your way back on track. You are not alone in your struggles. Really know that!

5) You are not your thoughts or feelings. You have thoughts and feelings. Learn the skill of being able to let thoughts and feelings pass through your mind, without grasping on to them. As the saying goes, 'don't believe everything you think'. The best way of doing this is to learn the skill of mindfulness and meditation.